Megan's Blue

Recently the word "through" has stood out to me. I like how it describes a process, with a beginning and more importantly an end. I like how it evokes the same image in my mind every time I read it. Through is the way I am saved. Jesus saves me now through the work on the cross. I do not go by him, or under him or near him. I somehow go through him and am redeemed. I am active in the process and so is he. I must move, he must save. And it is his joy to save. I think this has been striking me more recently because I've begun to view the work I am doing in counseling as a process. This is a forum for Christ's healing through my memories and trauma. By working through all of this shit I hope to be born as whole. When the memories come they rise through my body. I often feel the fear and terror before I remember it. As it rises it begins in my stomach. I was nauseous for months this year. Then the feeling passes to my head as irrational thoughts, and to my heart as palpi

Every once in a while all I want is for people to know what I know. I want for friends who agree that the Philip Stark chairs at Pinkberry are ridiculous without having to explain who he is exactly. Really I just want friends who know what I'm talking about all of the time regardless of how obscure I'm being. I realize this is unrealistic. My friend and I were waiting outside of the taco stand that Julia Childs made famous last summer and this woman started chatting with us. We were talking about the best taco places in LA and about how great her daughter was. She was forty-ish and super stylish; tattoos, hip haircut, Toms shoes, and the coolest ring. It was like a small gold crown that turned out to be her wedding band. Her husband had made them. After telling me about it she smiled ruefully and commented that her husband had designed the rings before Todd Oldham had made them popular and I knew exactly what she meant. I do love my friends for who they are, and if I really wa

I need to add to the list of things that could incite the world into peace. 3) Tortilla soup. The best I've ever had id a Guasalmex over on Holt. There may be other places that make as good a or better Tortilla Soup. God Bless Them. This soup may have been the only thing my ex-boyfriend and I agreed on. He liked it so much me went home and tried to make it from Campbell's tomato soup. The soup is made fresh each day (this is what the owner says at least, in his best "I'm telling you something very secret and important" tone) from fresh chickens that are stewed with spices and onions until they fall apart. When we asked what they did next we were refused. Whenever I feel sad or angry or lonely or sick this soup cures and comforts. I wish I has a picture to show you just how amazing it is.

Here is a short list of the things that could bring world peace. 1)The pie Sara made tonight. It had an Oreo cookie crust and chocolate filling. She served it with fresh whipped cream and a raspberry sauce I made. All any of us could do after taking the first bite was grin. Please note that this pie would be most effective after a meal of vegetable curry, rice and beer. 2)The chair at Emily's apartment. Whenever there is a gathering at the Emily's house the chair is the only piece of furniture that is fought over. I have been known to call dibs on it from my car. It is impossible to feel stress in this chair. Its comfort is endless. This is all I can remember at present. The list used to be quite long, but all in my head.