Megan's Blue

Or nothing is right? I said Am I Right? (mood: punchy) I am a person who sees the small actions in my day to day life as miracles simply because I can. I grew up living in various imaginary worlds, waiting for the veil between this world and the mystical one that lay beyond to lift so I could go to my true home. Some days I still look for the seam. Fortunately for me Christians believe in miracles. The unexplained, fantastical, and wondrous are supposed to exist for us. So I re frame the normal everyday things that happen to me as miracles. My hope is that if I have faith in the small I will one day see the grand. So my miracle today was Anne. I knew in the morning that choosing to pack salad dressing was a lost cause. Somehow I was going to loose my balsamic vinaigrette and, having no desire to eat a dry salad, use the cafeteria's watery ranch instead. As all life is a risk, I took the vinaigrette anyways. During lunch I was opening the dressing container while talking to coworke...

Shame is a really useful tool in dealing with kids. I read once that its because children don't automatically have a conscience. Shame is used to help children determine what is right and wrong as they grow. They learn to establish limits with others and in our world. Often my twenties have felt like a second childhood, in that I am learning to navigate my world as an adult. I've found a desire to re-look at everything from what I like to eat to how often I feel deeply ashamed. When I moved to Pomona one of my first realizations was that I didn't like cold cereal. I had never thought about it before in terms of a choice. I quickly decided that I hated it, and I never wanted to touch a soggy, wretched bowl of cornflakes again. That small decision (which I didn't stick to) made my whole being feel more solid and real. I noticed that as I continued to make decisions as an adult I could feel my person more fully. This past week I've spent time reexamining shame. Shame c...