I got word today that my old coworker is pregnant. This is good.
A little background:
My first year of teaching was atrocious for two reasons. One being that I am not suited to teaching Kindergarten. The second lay mainly in my working relationship with this woman. She was very particular about how everything must be done, from where the scissors went to making sure the crayon cups were in the right order. While she was upfront about how picky she was, she was also completely inflexible and made it clear I was the one who was going to have to change. I like to think her private motto for me was "That's nice you want to do it that way Megan, but adjust or die."
Once she bribed my students with candy. Both classes were there because it was a short day. My kids were sitting at the tables, talking and giggling as they got ready to go home. Hers were being angels on the rug. So, to make a point, she told my kids if they were quiet during dismissal she would give them all candy. It worked beautifully, my loud awful kids were quiet and got candy. I got her not so subtle point.
As the year progressed our relationship got worse. Soon we didn't communicate with one another directly. She would comment on what I was doing wrong, (being messy, not helping enough, not teaching the correct content) to other teachers, parents and students, often while I was standing there. One time I walked in while she was on the phone. She looked at me and then said "She's just not being helpful at all." in to speaker. I began to understand what it meant to hate someone. Her anger terrified me and my fear was magnified by the fact that I felt like a failure in the classroom.
She was a Christian. That meant we should have been treating each other better than we were. I should have been able to apologize for my actions and she would have forgiven me. I remember trying once and how she had brushed me off, far too little far too late. So at a loss I decided to pray for her. She was mine enemy.
She was newly married and wanted to start having kids right away, but she was older and so was her husband. Having kids might be difficult for them. While I knew I was being asked to pray for this part of my heart was really reluctant. She had been so awful to me and was so picky. She would not make a good mom. But that wasn't my call to make. I was simply told to pray. I've been praying for her since I left in 2005 and when I got word today that she is expecting I felt forgiven of my anger and hatred and rage.
A little background:
My first year of teaching was atrocious for two reasons. One being that I am not suited to teaching Kindergarten. The second lay mainly in my working relationship with this woman. She was very particular about how everything must be done, from where the scissors went to making sure the crayon cups were in the right order. While she was upfront about how picky she was, she was also completely inflexible and made it clear I was the one who was going to have to change. I like to think her private motto for me was "That's nice you want to do it that way Megan, but adjust or die."
Once she bribed my students with candy. Both classes were there because it was a short day. My kids were sitting at the tables, talking and giggling as they got ready to go home. Hers were being angels on the rug. So, to make a point, she told my kids if they were quiet during dismissal she would give them all candy. It worked beautifully, my loud awful kids were quiet and got candy. I got her not so subtle point.
As the year progressed our relationship got worse. Soon we didn't communicate with one another directly. She would comment on what I was doing wrong, (being messy, not helping enough, not teaching the correct content) to other teachers, parents and students, often while I was standing there. One time I walked in while she was on the phone. She looked at me and then said "She's just not being helpful at all." in to speaker. I began to understand what it meant to hate someone. Her anger terrified me and my fear was magnified by the fact that I felt like a failure in the classroom.
She was a Christian. That meant we should have been treating each other better than we were. I should have been able to apologize for my actions and she would have forgiven me. I remember trying once and how she had brushed me off, far too little far too late. So at a loss I decided to pray for her. She was mine enemy.
She was newly married and wanted to start having kids right away, but she was older and so was her husband. Having kids might be difficult for them. While I knew I was being asked to pray for this part of my heart was really reluctant. She had been so awful to me and was so picky. She would not make a good mom. But that wasn't my call to make. I was simply told to pray. I've been praying for her since I left in 2005 and when I got word today that she is expecting I felt forgiven of my anger and hatred and rage.
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